svnsettia

aside from yesterday, which i already wrote about, i had a chance to finish the 3.3 archon quest this week!
( spoilers )

i stayed inside too much and ended up feeling really gross. i'd have random bursts of feeling hot or cold or clammy and a little nauseous. sometimes i'd feel weak or lightheaded, too. i was worried because my mom came down with something too, and i might have caught it from her, but it turned out to just be weird symptoms from an eyelid infection. nothing she can pass on that easily. i also just felt down because i finished school before all my friends so i wasn't busy but they all were. it seemed like nobody had time to hang out with me.
i think my main struggle this week was with my faith though, but i don't want to get into that on here. it's too personal.

visited my friend! it was very good for me to just suck it up and spend a day downtown. i also have plans every day next week up until thursday so i shouldn't have to deal with that horrible stagnant feeling for a while. i had a chance to talk to some friends about my struggles with my faith this week and they helped me a lot.

the fact that i can rest during my winter break, the opportunity to hang out with my friend yesterday, seeing my friend in church today, spending quality time with my grandmother today, the lady who brought my painting back to me after i forgot it at chipotle, my cat's willingness to let me bathe her, the flu shot i got and the willpower it took for me to get it, my dad setting a good example for me when he gave back extra change to the cashier after she miscounted it, the cool craft i bought at dollarama for real cheap, the bravery i showed when i ate my thai express order despite thinking it was contaminated, the party supplies my mom bought for me, the peach schnapps my dad bought for me, and the guidance my friends have given me.

the first thing that came to mind was my class on tuesday. my professor knew that we were all stressed about finals, so he handed out papers and said we were doing a destressor activity. he gave us a few minutes to write a letter to ourselves about what we're thankful to ourselves for doing this semester. it was quite emotional, and i found myself getting teary-eyed because i've done so much for myself in just three months and i've never properly thanked myself for any of it.

something bad that happened is...

i'm proud of myself for...

( even more work stuff... )   i'm proud of myself for making time to scrapbook even when i feel like i don't have any time to, and for downloading games on my phone to keep me off of social media. i've gotten back into the habit of bringing books on the bus so i'm on my phone less.

i'm grateful for...

the end of the semester, the "challenging extreme and unhelpful thinking" workbook that my friend gave me, my professor for doing that activity with us, and public libraries! i spent over three hrs studying there yesterday and took out three books!

what i want to accomplish next week...

i need to finish all my finals, of course. and i keep saying this over and over but i should start looking at the news again. i've been living under a rock the past few years because i hate the news but i think i need to finally get over that and start checking my news app at least a couple times per week. 

some cool websites!

and the fact that i have to manually embed the links lol

playing placid plastic duck simulator (100% recommend btw!!)
reading chosen for his desert throne by caitlin crews (definitely gonna be offensive in many ways)

reading no other man by shannon drake

(it was fine i guess. it's more misogynistic than it is racist, which surprised me. there's something about the problematic books that just grabs me. i think it helps me overcome my perfectionism & fight the little guy in my mind that's always trying to cancel me--a testament to having been raised on tumblr, right?)