disappointed_lesbian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
disappointed_lesbian) wrote2025-08-06 09:35 pm
disappointed_lesbian) wrote2025-08-06 09:35 pm
Entry tags:
Endocrinology
I finally had my endocrinology appointment today. The nurse who checked me in asked me whether it was ok for the doctor to use AI to transcribe his notes. I asked why it wouldn't be ok and she said that I'd be surprised. I guess some patients don't trust AI. But their AI system is offline, in-house, and nothing is processed by a third party, so I have no problem with it.
The doctor was attractive. Slim with long, slim fingers and a skinny mustache. A bit on the tall side but not alien-tall.
One of the things I hate the most about being around (non-autistic?) people is that they pay too much attention to people's faces and body attitudes. I know that they see and use it as a form of communication, but that doesn't work for me, apparently; every time someone comments on how I look, they always come up with something I'm not actually feeling.
After some initial questioning about my blood sugar issues, the doctor asked me whether he'd said anything that had upset me because I looked sad. I didn't really feel sad. I was stressed out from listening, talking, and trying to maintain somewhat normal eye contact. Also I was dehydrated, which causes fatigue; maybe that's part of what he saw. I said that I was ok and the appointment continued.
He said the first step was to figure out the cause, but I don't think we're going to find that. I think the cause was me getting too fat at university and permanently messing up my digestive system somehow. He ordered a glucose monitor and glucose testing kit for me and directed the staff to schedule me for a follow-up appointment in three months. In the meantime, I'm supposed to get a fasting blood test and a four-hours-post-meal blood test. I'm also supposed to see the dietician, which I don't really want to do.
He seemed very thorough. I don't think I've even seen a doctor go through all the forms I've had to fill out for appointments over the years. I was asked my current or previous occupation on one form, and he asked me about my answer. Basically I told him that I'd edited various kinds of STEM-related writing. Then he said that he was really into science, which made me laugh because, it should be a given that a medical doctor is really into science. But he told me that some doctors aren't, and he mentioned some who'd speculated about covid being the work of aliens. Our little chat put me in a good mood.
I made my follow-up appointment and left. I had a headache at that point. All this time I've been thinking that the headaches I get while out of town are due to hunger; now I'm fairly certain that most or all of them are caused by dehydration. I've come to appreciate only gradually over the years how dry the environment is here, and only recently have I noticed that I need to drink more than I'm used to drinking.
I stopped at Whole Foods for something to eat and could scarcely find anything that didn't have added oil. This is a recurring problem with eating away from home. The hot bar at Whole Foods is the oiliest thing ever, and expensive too. I settled on a package of whole wheat lavash and a bit of fresh ground peanut butter. Simple and wholesome. I quickly ate some and then caught the inter-city bus back home and stopped at another grocery store in town for an electrolyte drink. Water is never enough once I'm dehydrated enough to have a headache.
I've been fantasizing about that doctor almost the whole time since that appointment ended.
Not doing normal things with the face and body is one of the major impediments to bonding with non-autistic people. Smiles and eye contact and shit is super important to them. What feels like a neutral face to me looks sad or angry apparently. There's nothing I can do about that except avoid them. No point in wasting my time being misread. They also apparently love to talk in this particular culture. I've reached the point at which I want to get a TTS device so that I can avoid talking. Talking feels physically unpleasant and it's tiring. Smiling doesn't feel good either. I prefer people who don't smile a ton and I bond via touch.
The doctor was attractive. Slim with long, slim fingers and a skinny mustache. A bit on the tall side but not alien-tall.
One of the things I hate the most about being around (non-autistic?) people is that they pay too much attention to people's faces and body attitudes. I know that they see and use it as a form of communication, but that doesn't work for me, apparently; every time someone comments on how I look, they always come up with something I'm not actually feeling.
After some initial questioning about my blood sugar issues, the doctor asked me whether he'd said anything that had upset me because I looked sad. I didn't really feel sad. I was stressed out from listening, talking, and trying to maintain somewhat normal eye contact. Also I was dehydrated, which causes fatigue; maybe that's part of what he saw. I said that I was ok and the appointment continued.
He said the first step was to figure out the cause, but I don't think we're going to find that. I think the cause was me getting too fat at university and permanently messing up my digestive system somehow. He ordered a glucose monitor and glucose testing kit for me and directed the staff to schedule me for a follow-up appointment in three months. In the meantime, I'm supposed to get a fasting blood test and a four-hours-post-meal blood test. I'm also supposed to see the dietician, which I don't really want to do.
He seemed very thorough. I don't think I've even seen a doctor go through all the forms I've had to fill out for appointments over the years. I was asked my current or previous occupation on one form, and he asked me about my answer. Basically I told him that I'd edited various kinds of STEM-related writing. Then he said that he was really into science, which made me laugh because, it should be a given that a medical doctor is really into science. But he told me that some doctors aren't, and he mentioned some who'd speculated about covid being the work of aliens. Our little chat put me in a good mood.
I made my follow-up appointment and left. I had a headache at that point. All this time I've been thinking that the headaches I get while out of town are due to hunger; now I'm fairly certain that most or all of them are caused by dehydration. I've come to appreciate only gradually over the years how dry the environment is here, and only recently have I noticed that I need to drink more than I'm used to drinking.
I stopped at Whole Foods for something to eat and could scarcely find anything that didn't have added oil. This is a recurring problem with eating away from home. The hot bar at Whole Foods is the oiliest thing ever, and expensive too. I settled on a package of whole wheat lavash and a bit of fresh ground peanut butter. Simple and wholesome. I quickly ate some and then caught the inter-city bus back home and stopped at another grocery store in town for an electrolyte drink. Water is never enough once I'm dehydrated enough to have a headache.
I've been fantasizing about that doctor almost the whole time since that appointment ended.
Not doing normal things with the face and body is one of the major impediments to bonding with non-autistic people. Smiles and eye contact and shit is super important to them. What feels like a neutral face to me looks sad or angry apparently. There's nothing I can do about that except avoid them. No point in wasting my time being misread. They also apparently love to talk in this particular culture. I've reached the point at which I want to get a TTS device so that I can avoid talking. Talking feels physically unpleasant and it's tiring. Smiling doesn't feel good either. I prefer people who don't smile a ton and I bond via touch.
